A Tale from the States – Igbo men and their RN wives – Pt. 1

Thanks Kiki for this article. I know you wanted to be the first contributor but 2nd is not such a bad position.

I know this will be a controversial article but I am basing the question on proven statistics. It is not that other Nigerians are not killing their wives in the US but over 70% spousal murder recorded against Nigerian men is by Igbo men and the spouse is most likely a Registered Nurse (RN). Full declaration, I am Igbo so it is not that this is a case of a Yoruba person indicting an Igbo person and it is now turning into an ethnic war but it is an honest need to understand what is fundamentally wrong with my Igbo brothers.

The genesis of this thing is like this. Many of this men who are primarily uneducated or if educated are doing menial jobs like taxi driving or jobs which do not take into cognizance their educational endeavors in Nigeria before their immigration. With the money they have made in the US they come back to marry the prettiest and sometimes the smartest with a focus on women with careers in the medical field – doctors, pharmacists and nurses.  I remember how you were seen as a failure if you have not captured your own “Di America” – American husband. These men misrepresented themselves to these women and I believe some of the women suspected that but were lured in by the dream of living in America – the land of milk of honey.  When the women came to America what awaited them first was disappointment and unhappiness. Also, because they may start with child bearing and sorting out their papers, they do not make much money and are therefore beholden to the men for everything at the early years of their immigration. The attraction for Nursing for most Nigerian women was that it had a lower barrier to entry for jobs once you were board certified, the salary and the ability to choose your work hours. After these women pass their board exams or have become RNs, their incomes increase and the balance of power shift. The men who need to realize that things have changed do not act so and still tend to treat them as the poor women they rescued from Nigeria. The women who are now earning more than the men, will work long hours, come back late and tired and are still expected to carry out all the house works they were carrying out before they started working long hours. To have a better understanding of this problem, we have to have an understanding of the Igbo cultural practices. The Igbo culture is heavily patriarchal and the man’s word is law. The men now feeling emasculated and the women now having money in a land where the woman’s right is heavily protected by law is a recipe for disaster. The reasons the men have given for the murders they have committed have bordered on all these.  The extended family structure that should normally  step in at times like this are far from the US and sometimes because of their own selfishness that is premised on their daughter now making money to take care of them, do not step-in on time to do the right thing. I am not taking the side of the woman or the man but we are looking at a fundamental problem that is creating a generation of children orphaned because the elders did not do what they should have done.



2 thoughts on “A Tale from the States – Igbo men and their RN wives – Pt. 1

  1. Tell ourselves the truth, most Igbo men maltreat their wives in America. Look very well, all the women go through b.s from the so called husbands, think about it how many women who migrated as wives actually do their hair till they start working? Someone once that observation on Bellanaija. It’s not funny. The family of the man threatens to kick the woman out constantly. Forget

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