The email from Canada – Is this what i bargained for?

This email below came in from Canada. Thumbs up Kenny for being our first contributor! My only input is for you to advise the lady in question to focus on the kids as they are the reason she made this move. Let her hang in there and let go of the past. The success of her children will wipe away those tears eventually. Will write you later to introduce you and your friends to some network of people that I know in Canada. There are still success stories out there even though the challenges initially can be so overwhelming. Bless you for trusting us with your story.


〈I saw her sitting afar on the seats where we mothers congregate to wait for our children to come out after school. She heaved and sighed so many times that I was worried that she was going to burst into tears but instead, what came out of her mouth was “Hey, I am no better than a house-girl’. I was surprised at that comment as she was one of the women we admired in the school. She always looked well put together and on top of her game. So I wondered what it was that was making her pass this comment. I had to ask her friend Shola, what was going on and then the story unfolded. She got the Canadian Permanent residency and she moved with her husband and children to Toronto. The unknown barrier to entry called “Lack of Canadian Experience” meant that her husband was unable to find a job commensurate with what he was doing in Nigeria. After so many interviews that never panned out and with dwindling resources, he had no choice but to relocate back to Nigeria and she had to stay back with the children. She was a high earning manager in a bank before she relocated with all the support staff that money could pay for but now, the highest activity of her day was doing school run. She was the cleaner, cook, driver, hair maker and any other thing that needed to be done to have a well-functioning life in Canada. The husband came every 6 months so that meant that their love life was akin to dead. This was her life but this was also the life of many of the men and women who relocated to Canada for the blue passport. We tell lies to the people at home that life is better than it is, so that they do not question the wisdom of our decision to relocate. We acquire degrees upon degrees to make us more employable and sometimes to wile away time doing things just to keep and soul together, for those who plan on returning back to their country of origin. We start at the lowest rung of the ladder at the later years of our life with the hope that we will climb up a bit before we retire.  We take insults from younger people who are just starting their careers and who wonder what we were doing that we are still so low at such a high number in age. It is the price we pay for being strangers in a land not ours, for a country of birth that has failed us and the need to do good by our children but at the end of the day, we are faced with what we did not bargain for and will the forever question our decision〉.


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